I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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