Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
