i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
