Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
