I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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