I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
