We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
