What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
