You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
