i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
