"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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