I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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