Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize