Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
