K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
