this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
