this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
