Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
