You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
