If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
