how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize