i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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