her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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