Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
