4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
