she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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