we made out on top of his cat.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Come on in and take your pants off
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