I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
