Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
