some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
