I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
