Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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