Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
not ubering you a puppy
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
