I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Can Purell be used as lube?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
