There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
