Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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