he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
