Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
