Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
