Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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