Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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