Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
