so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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