brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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