We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize