Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
