so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
