It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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