With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
