Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
