My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
