i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize