hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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