i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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