Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
