Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
