The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
